How My ADHD Diagnosis Helped Me Silence the Critics and March to My Own Music
“This is your last warning!”
If I were to compose a song about my school years—a ballad of an impetuous child—these words would comprise the chorus, playing over and over until they stick in your head.
A bright but impulsive student, I drew the ire of teachers by blurting out answers and coercing my classmates into covert conversations. Requests such as “please sit down” and “be quiet” played on heavy rotation throughout my childhood.
Nearly two decades later, I finally uncovered the cause of my disruptive behavior.
Music To My Ears
At 27 years old, I sat in a beige office crammed with filing cabinets and recounted my life story. Across from me, sat my new therapist. A bespectacled man with a receding hairline and kind smile, he nodded along as I spoke.
I explained how I dropped out of college multiple times and couldn’t hold a job for more than a couple months—often walking out mid-shift when the boredom became unbearable. (My sincere apologies to my co-workers who had to wait on my tables or stock my shelves after my abrupt departures.) No matter where I was or what I was doing, I wanted to be somewhere else doing something else. Anything else.
When I finished speaking, the therapist looked up from his notes and said, “Everything you described is consistent with ADHD.” A battery of tests confirmed his diagnosis. I finally had hope. I felt liberated. I wasn’t lazy or careless or selfish.
Changing My Tune
Having ADHD is equal parts exhausting and exhilarating. Each day presents a series of mini mysteries and other challenges. Where are my keys? When is that appointment? What did I promise to do today? How much longer do I have to sit in this meeting?
But I’ve learned to channel my restlessness in productive ways. Rather than chasing one dream job, I’ve found fulfillment in a string of different careers—from studying honeybees to teaching fourth grade chemistry to running a psychology lab to writing about science and nature. Today, when I think back to the chatty child who talked out of turn and pestered her peers, I realize she was a storyteller in search of an audience. My job now is to give her a platform and let her write her own playlist.
If you’re interested in learning more about psychology and how social messages influence identities, check out this article about a psychologist who harnesses her superpowers to diversify the scientific workforce.
